The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (Tom Six, 2009)

Oh God, it's even the title that's ominous...dealing with a director versed in the tortureporn series principle who knows that just by leaving a little room for a sequel at the end, there'll be takers for one.
And of course there are. Never mind the capitalistically derivative nature of what the director has chucked up, with teenage Americans in Yuu-Rope being served up as meat to a local denizen gleeful for material for his medical experiments. There's just an arms race in hideous ideas, and endless young directors are being fed money by the barrowload to precipitate MAD first. Ok, a mad German doctor (with overtones of Mengele) wants to surgically attach people, mouth to arse, to create a human chain. Sick? Check. Not something you want done to you? Check. And that's it, really. Superior cinematography and a few mollifyingly idiosyncratic touches unwarrantedly dignify a nasty piece of exploitation where you can't even call on suspense for help when no decision is made between the villain being either a Michael Myers or a bumbler. And it cops out on the biological details, even, when you thought those might have been a bit important.

3/10