Escape Plan (Mikael Håfström, 2013)

If director Håfström had wanted to start getting his career back on track after a succession of Hollywood fiascos, culminating in 2011's execrable The Rite, he should have steered a mile clear of agreeing to do the super-annuated Sly and Arnie's first real filmic back-slapping fest. He doesn't stand a chance of making a mark as the plot is spat out of a computer (Sly a 'security expert' who breaks out of prisons for a living and Arnie a big cheese on the inside in a supposedly escape-proof jail) and then it's two hours of the gristly meat-sacks alternately grunting and hamming away at each other with lines and scenes about which even they, with their steroid-addled brains, must privately have got uncomfortable pangs of deja vu.

4/10